For several installments, we’ve been considering the motivation that is common to human beings—to look good, feel good, be right, and be in control—yet largely goes unexamined. Then, contemplating what to do about it, we’ve been examining repentance. Repentance that sticks. In my coaching practice, not uncommonly our focus turns to patterns in the pastor’s […]
Repentance that lasts a lifetime (part three) Read More »
I thank God for the gift of repentance. For the provision in the atonement, of forgiveness, cleansing, and restoration of relationship when I do. What’s troubled me, though, is how often I seem to be “returning to the well”: asking forgiveness over and over again for the same things. What about you? Since “repentance” means
Repentance that Lasts a Lifetime (part one) Read More »
When someone behaves in ways that don’t seem to make sense it’s usually due to one of the “formidable four” motivators: looking good, feeling good, being right, or, today’s focus: being in control. The older I get the more sure I am that it is impossible to control anyone … other than myself. And, controlling
The Formidable Four (part four) Read More »
It’s true. You never do anything for no reason. So, whether you’re coaching yourself or someone else, it’s helpful to dig to discover what actually motivated apparently incomprehensible behavior. Four basic motivations are often at the root of such actions. I call them the formidable four. Looking good. Feeling good. Being right. Being in control.
The Formidable Four (part two) Read More »
Last time, I suggested that no matter how astonishing, everything you do, at some level, made sense, at the time you did it. Almost always, in situations like this, you were motivated by one or more of the formidable four. I once worked for a clinically-diagnosable narcissist. This psychological malady renders a person unable to
The Formidable Four (part one) Read More »
Crazy people do things for no reason. For the rest of us, there is always a reason for whatever we do. You might not like it, but it’s true. We prefer to imagine that “something just came over me” when I chewed out the State Trooper while pulled over for speeding. Or, we claim innocence
Prices and Payoffs Read More »
I remember it well. Helping with a character development workshop in Grand Rapids, my trainer, Lawrence Edwards, made this startling observation: Comparison is the seedbed of envy. Huh? Envy – that ugly, distasteful character defect that fuels pettiness, judgments, isolation, and division – grows in the soil of comparison? I never thought about that before…
The seedbed of envy Read More »
Last time, I introduced the phrase: Throw your body into the middle of the room and see what God does with it. Let me clarify. When you’re surprised by life and find yourself frozen in uncertainty, the pervading impulse is to stop. Ponder. Evaluate. Assess. Trouble is, often life’s reality won’t give you the luxury
Throwing my Body into the Middle of the Room (part two) Read More »
Leadership Courage Series # 39 The fourth trait to lead effectively in a Church caught in a culture of cowardice: Stand, as an exemplar, in the sabotage and backlash that must come. A Christian leader is not simply someone who gets things done or who gets others to behave in desirable ways, in a religious
Compendium (part five) Read More »
Leadership in a Culture of Cowardice (part two) After illuminating characteristics of a Culture of Cowardice and making sobering observations about how appropriately it applies to the Church, we’ve turned our attention to the kind of leadership that can serve to restore the Church to a place of redemptive influence in society. Edwin Friedman, in
Leadership Courage Series #11: Read More »