Client Relationships

The Meaning we Make Up (part two)

This series, we’re exploring coaching distinctions I rely on when coaching ministers for deep, life-changing transformation.  Last time, I introduced the very common habit of making up a meaning and attaching it to the experiences of our lives.  Seldom do we examine the veracity of these meanings, and so we live as if they are […]

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The Meaning we Make Up (part one)

We humans are peculiar.  We want so badly to make sense of life that we do a very insensible thing.  We make it up! What I mean is this.  When an event occurs—particularly if it’s surprising, we’re not content simply being surprised. No. We have to figure out what it means. The stronger your “TJ”

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Playing to Win! (part two)

We’re examining leadership coaching distinctions that I employ when coaching pastors and Christian leaders.  Last time, I suggested that the client’s perspective determines what they see as possible and impossible as they search for solutions to pernicious problems. One common perspective is “playing to win” vs. “playing not to lose”. Pastors commonly cycle between “playing

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The Formidable Four (part four)

When someone behaves in ways that don’t seem to make sense it’s usually due to one of the “formidable four” motivators: looking good, feeling good, being right, or, today’s focus: being in control. The older I get the more sure I am that it is impossible to control anyone … other than myself. And, controlling

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