Last time I suggested that the “game” you’re in determines how you play in life. At the end, we considered two married couples. To shift the nature and quality of their relationship, both spouses need to examine the game they’re in, in the marriage as they’ve designed it. There are moments when we have little […]
The Game You’re In (part two) Read More »
We’re considering the overwhelming power of the meanings we give to the experiences of life. I assert that it’s not the events of your life, but the meaning you attach to those events that influences you so greatly – and creates such mischief in life. Here’s an example. A client who is a highly competent
The Meaning we Make Up (part four) Read More »
We humans are peculiar. We want so badly to make sense of life that we do a very insensible thing. We make it up! What I mean is this. When an event occurs—particularly if it’s surprising, we’re not content simply being surprised. No. We have to figure out what it means. The stronger your “TJ”
The Meaning we Make Up (part one) Read More »
This is the 19th entry in a series on Coaching Distinctions. I’m inviting you into some of the strategies and perspectives I employ as I champion my clients to achieve extraordinary results—not just while we’re working together, but for the rest of their lives. As a coach, I’m not in the help-you-solve-your-problems business. Nope. I’m
Stealing Second (part three) Read More »
When someone behaves in ways that don’t seem to make sense it’s usually due to one of the “formidable four” motivators: looking good, feeling good, being right, or, today’s focus: being in control. The older I get the more sure I am that it is impossible to control anyone … other than myself. And, controlling
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Whatever we do, we do for a reason. Since we’re not crazy, there is always a reason behind our actions. Every action. When our behaviors are perplexing, it’s almost always because we’re unaware of our true motivations in the moment. One of the most pernicious motivators is being right. If you’ve ever sat with a
The Formidable Four (part three) Read More »
Crazy people do things for no reason. For the rest of us, there is always a reason for whatever we do. You might not like it, but it’s true. We prefer to imagine that “something just came over me” when I chewed out the State Trooper while pulled over for speeding. Or, we claim innocence
Prices and Payoffs Read More »
Leadership Courage Series # 42 The seventh of nine leadership characteristics needed in the Church today: Disengage from an unreasonable faith in reasonableness. Let me ask you: How reasonable was Jesus when confronting opposition, faithlessness, and cowardice? Consider his arrest, in Gethsemane. Jesus is betrayed with a kiss by one of his closest confidants, an
Compendium (part eight) Read More »
Leadership Courage Series # 41 The sixth leadership characteristic needed in the Church today is: Undermine the 80/20 Rule. 80/20 is another evidence that cowardice is thriving in much of the American Church. A week ago, my pastor announced that last year’s tithes and offerings – totaling more than $5 million – came from 15%
Compendium (part seven) Read More »
Leadership Courage Series # 40 As we review the nine leadership characteristics I think are necessary to lead the Church in this hour, today we turn to #5: Don’t “push on the rope”: the unmotivated are invulnerable to insight. Ever tried to get a kite out of a tree? If you’re like me, there’ll be
Compendium (part six) Read More »