This series, we’re exploring coaching distinctions I rely on when coaching ministers for deep, life-changing transformation. Last time, I introduced the very common habit of making up a meaning and attaching it to the experiences of our lives. Seldom do we examine the veracity of these meanings, and so we live as if they are […]
The Meaning we Make Up (part two) Read More »
We humans are peculiar. We want so badly to make sense of life that we do a very insensible thing. We make it up! What I mean is this. When an event occurs—particularly if it’s surprising, we’re not content simply being surprised. No. We have to figure out what it means. The stronger your “TJ”
The Meaning we Make Up (part one) Read More »
We’re examining leadership coaching distinctions that I employ when coaching pastors and Christian leaders. Last time, I suggested that the client’s perspective determines what they see as possible and impossible as they search for solutions to pernicious problems. One common perspective is “playing to win” vs. “playing not to lose”. Pastors commonly cycle between “playing
Playing to Win! (part two) Read More »
Often in coaching I encounter clients caught in the grip of a powerful, frightening choice. How she chooses has everything to do with what she sees. Without help, it’s tough to see from a perspective other than your own. Some find it nearly impossible to adopt an alternative perspective— for even a few minutes. After
Playing to Win! (part one) Read More »
When someone behaves in ways that don’t seem to make sense it’s usually due to one of the “formidable four” motivators: looking good, feeling good, being right, or, today’s focus: being in control. The older I get the more sure I am that it is impossible to control anyone … other than myself. And, controlling
The Formidable Four (part four) Read More »
Whatever we do, we do for a reason. Since we’re not crazy, there is always a reason behind our actions. Every action. When our behaviors are perplexing, it’s almost always because we’re unaware of our true motivations in the moment. One of the most pernicious motivators is being right. If you’ve ever sat with a
The Formidable Four (part three) Read More »
Crazy people do things for no reason. For the rest of us, there is always a reason for whatever we do. You might not like it, but it’s true. We prefer to imagine that “something just came over me” when I chewed out the State Trooper while pulled over for speeding. Or, we claim innocence
Prices and Payoffs Read More »
I was honored to be interviewed by Dane Sanders on his live webcast a few weeks ago. His website, www.AskDane.com resources professional photographers to build and strengthen their businesses. As Dane’s business coach, I was asked to do a show with him about working with difficult client situations– perspectives that are transferrable to most any
Best Results from Problem Clients Read More »