Have you noticed that some people consistently attract what they don’t want? Maybe it’s true for you, too. It’s as if you’re wearing one of those sandwich boards — visible to others, but not to you. And, the distinction between what you invite and what you want may be subtle. Years ago I attended a […]
The Invitation (part one) Read More »
A friend challenged me once: “Kirk, you think you’re planting tomatoes, but you’re harvesting beets. And, when you don’t get tomatoes, you just work harder and harder planting and watering and fertilizing those same seeds. Beet seeds.” Derek wasn’t taking about vegetables; he was taking about my marriage. Unwilling to examine the seed I’d been
The Game You’re In (part four) Read More »
Look, I don’t mean to criticize pastors all the time. Many of my best friends are pastors. I’ve given my life to help pastors lead and live well. It’s just that most of what the Church does doesn’t have anything to do with what Christ’s followers are supposed to be about. It’s not that we’re
The Game You’re In (part three) Read More »
Last time I suggested that the “game” you’re in determines how you play in life. At the end, we considered two married couples. To shift the nature and quality of their relationship, both spouses need to examine the game they’re in, in the marriage as they’ve designed it. There are moments when we have little
The Game You’re In (part two) Read More »
As a professional coach to ministers I get to invest my life in catalytic conversations. Conversations that produce change. And, change that transcends behavior. It’s a change in being. Clients have the opportunity to fundamentally shift the way they perceive themselves, their challenges, their ministry context, and those in it. Conventional coaching, I think, is
The Game You’re In (part one) Read More »
Today, we finish our discussion about creating meaning for the experiences of life, so they make sense. We humans have a pretty tough time just letting life unfold… especially when what unfolds is awful. We want to be little “gods” reigning supreme over the affairs of our and others’ lives as if we’d been imbued
The Meaning we Make Up (part eight) Read More »
We’re almost thirty entries into this series examining distinctions I regularly use when coaching pastors and Christian leaders. This is the seventh of eight blogs focused on the very common—and debilitating—human drive to have life make sense…even when it doesn’t. So, when the events of life don’t make sense, we invent our own meaning and
The Meaning we Make Up (part seven) Read More »
In Philippians chapter three, Paul’s listing his credentials from “circumcised the eighth day” to his meticulous adherence to Jewish Law. He then says: the things that “were gain to me, I now consider loss for Christ… I consider them garbage…” Paul illustrates the meaning we make up. Just like ours, Paul’s culture attached meaning to
The Meaning we Make Up (part six) Read More »
A few weeks ago, while pondering what you’ve been reading, Annie and I were in church. As we sang: “I’m coming back to the heart of worship; and it’s all about you, all about you, Jesus. I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it, when it’s all about you…” The phrase “…the thing I
The Meaning we Make Up (part five) Read More »
We’re considering the overwhelming power of the meanings we give to the experiences of life. I assert that it’s not the events of your life, but the meaning you attach to those events that influences you so greatly – and creates such mischief in life. Here’s an example. A client who is a highly competent
The Meaning we Make Up (part four) Read More »