Last time I suggested that the “game” you’re in determines how you play in life. At the end, we considered two married couples. To shift the nature and quality of their relationship, both spouses need to examine the game they’re in, in the marriage as they’ve designed it. There are moments when we have little […]
The Game You’re In (part two) Read More »
As a professional coach to ministers I get to invest my life in catalytic conversations. Conversations that produce change. And, change that transcends behavior. It’s a change in being. Clients have the opportunity to fundamentally shift the way they perceive themselves, their challenges, their ministry context, and those in it. Conventional coaching, I think, is
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Today, we finish our discussion about creating meaning for the experiences of life, so they make sense. We humans have a pretty tough time just letting life unfold… especially when what unfolds is awful. We want to be little “gods” reigning supreme over the affairs of our and others’ lives as if we’d been imbued
The Meaning we Make Up (part eight) Read More »
We’re almost thirty entries into this series examining distinctions I regularly use when coaching pastors and Christian leaders. This is the seventh of eight blogs focused on the very common—and debilitating—human drive to have life make sense…even when it doesn’t. So, when the events of life don’t make sense, we invent our own meaning and
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In Philippians chapter three, Paul’s listing his credentials from “circumcised the eighth day” to his meticulous adherence to Jewish Law. He then says: the things that “were gain to me, I now consider loss for Christ… I consider them garbage…” Paul illustrates the meaning we make up. Just like ours, Paul’s culture attached meaning to
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A few weeks ago, while pondering what you’ve been reading, Annie and I were in church. As we sang: “I’m coming back to the heart of worship; and it’s all about you, all about you, Jesus. I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it, when it’s all about you…” The phrase “…the thing I
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We’re considering the overwhelming power of the meanings we give to the experiences of life. I assert that it’s not the events of your life, but the meaning you attach to those events that influences you so greatly – and creates such mischief in life. Here’s an example. A client who is a highly competent
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Last time I raised the question: “What are people to you?” We’re talking about the meanings we give to ourselves, to the experiences in our lives, and to others. So, please stop and consider: what meaning have you attached to people? I don’t mean your ex, or your mother-in-law, or your favorite Olympic athlete. I
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This series, we’re exploring coaching distinctions I rely on when coaching ministers for deep, life-changing transformation. Last time, I introduced the very common habit of making up a meaning and attaching it to the experiences of our lives. Seldom do we examine the veracity of these meanings, and so we live as if they are
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We humans are peculiar. We want so badly to make sense of life that we do a very insensible thing. We make it up! What I mean is this. When an event occurs—particularly if it’s surprising, we’re not content simply being surprised. No. We have to figure out what it means. The stronger your “TJ”
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