Comments for Kirlin Coaching

Comment on Repentance that lasts a lifetime (part three) by Nihaara Sairsingh

Nihaara Sairsingh — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:35:14 +0000

So truly true… “The result is freedom for you and the possibility of new intimacy with those you’ve harmed.”

It’s interesting, I always have focused primarily and intently on the “truth” of a problematic situation — what really happened? What are the deep underlying errors and weaknesses on both sides that lead to misunderstanding? How have we each been misunderstood? — but God has been showing me how critical empathy is. The truth of what happened is really secondary; the pain the other feels is real, and it’s okay to put off sorting through “what happened” and take time instead to defend the other person’s heart — see what they see, feel what they feel — and be healing.

Then, you see with clarity of an entirely different nature, it feels. That repentant sorrow emerges so differently.

I really enjoyed reading this!

Comment on Repentance that lasts a lifetime (part two) by Kirk Kirlin

Kirk Kirlin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 02:54:09 +0000

Thanks, Darren, for your encouragement. Particularly for those of us in Christian ministry, it’s so important to attend to the impact we’re having.

That word, “attend” is significant.

It’s “attend” as in “attendant”– a role we don’t see that much in society today. I picture one of those guys in the men’s room at a fancy club who hands you a towel as soon as you pull your hands out of the sink. Vigilant. Focused. Aware. “On it”.

What would it be for me to pay that kind of attention to my impact– especially on those closest to me. Those I SAY are most important, yet who get the left-overs after we in ministry have given, and given, and given at church.

Of course, we make up stories why we “have to” apportion out our care and attention the way we do. One discovery that really pierced my arrogance was the realization that I get “props” for caring for people in a ministry context, and rarely get any appreciation and admiration at home. So, I’d been “selling out” my family for the atta-boy’s I was getting at church an seminary.

Oh, that busted me!

Comment on Repentance that lasts a lifetime (part two) by Darren Adwalpalker

Darren Adwalpalker — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:59:55 +0000

Thanks for sharing with us from your own story and how easy it is to be present without being fully present. Reading the books ‘Reality for a Change’ and ‘Killing the Victim before the Victim Kills You’ recently have caused me to face this same idea of seeing the ‘fruit’ of our impact on others. What a deep and powerful motivator for change it’s been for me over the last few months.

Comment on The Formidable Four (part two) by Steve Hopkins

Steve Hopkins — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:38:22 +0000

Thanks Kirk… good reminder today

Comment on The Formidable Four (part one) by Ken Fish

Ken Fish — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:29:16 +0000

We must find ways to turn the Church into a community where all can receive healing at the foot of the Cross…including our pastors. Hiding sin is NEVER the way to deal with it.

Comment on The Formidable Four (part one) by Kirk Kirlin

Kirk Kirlin — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:23:37 +0000

Thanks, Nick, for your comments. Wellllllll, actually he was my girlfriend’s Hollywood hero (so, committed to “looking good”), he became mine.

Comment on The Formidable Four (part one) by Nick Howard

Nick Howard — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 16:38:41 +0000

Good stuff, Kirk. Like the Bonhoeffer quote a lot. By the way, was Robert Redford your favorite Hollywood hero as a kid?

Comment on When what you’re doing isn’t working… by Jim Terpstra

Jim Terpstra — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 13:28:25 +0000

“Determine to do what you’ve not done before. Consider all kinds of possibilities. Experiment with alternatives. As many as necessary ’til you find something that works. Stay open to being surprised.”

The above quote from you say it perfectly for me. (•¿•)

Comment on Throwing my Body into the Middle of the Room by david

david — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 14:12:34 +0000

Counter Intuitive and really needed for the church to be alive- fully alive. Keep up the practice, my friend. I have seen you do this personally many times over the eight years of ministry alongside you. THANKS for your insights.

Comment on Compendium (part seven) by Kirk Kirlin

Kirk Kirlin — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 16:57:19 +0000

Thanks, Nick. Here’s a real life example. A friend told me about a church in Northern California that is training their High School group to discern God’s “voice” and to minister to the unchurched in their community.

The kids gather, pray, and wait for God to give them names of people, descriptions (i.e. “a lady in a brown sweater”), and any conditions that God wants to address (i.e. shoulder injury, depression, lost his job). Then they go to the local mall and look for people who match the description they think God gave them. The kids approach the person and offer the information they sensed from God and offer to pray for that person.

They use their meeting times to train in and to practice important ministry skills (listening, discerning, summoning courage, ministering to the unchurched, evangelism, etc) that actually advance the Kingdom of God, not just in their own lives, but in those at the mall. They call it: “Treasure Hunt”. Cool, huh?