Emotional Maturity

The Game You’re In (part one)

As a professional coach to ministers I get to invest my life in catalytic conversations. Conversations that produce change. And, change that transcends behavior.  It’s a change in being. Clients have the opportunity to fundamentally shift the way they perceive themselves, their challenges, their ministry context, and those in it. Conventional coaching, I think, is […]

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The Meaning we Make Up (part seven)

We’re almost thirty entries into this series examining distinctions I regularly use when coaching pastors and Christian leaders. This is the seventh of eight blogs focused on the very common—and debilitating—human drive to have life make sense…even when it doesn’t. So, when the events of life don’t make sense, we invent our own meaning and

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The Meaning we Make Up (part six)

In Philippians chapter three, Paul’s listing his credentials from “circumcised the eighth day” to his meticulous adherence to Jewish Law. He then says: the things that “were gain to me, I now consider loss for Christ… I consider them garbage…” Paul illustrates the meaning we make up. Just like ours, Paul’s culture attached meaning to

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The Meaning we Make Up (part four)

We’re considering the overwhelming power of the meanings we give to the experiences of life. I assert that it’s not the events of your life, but the meaning you attach to those events that influences you so greatly – and creates such mischief in life. Here’s an example.  A client who is a highly competent

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The Meaning we Make Up (part two)

This series, we’re exploring coaching distinctions I rely on when coaching ministers for deep, life-changing transformation.  Last time, I introduced the very common habit of making up a meaning and attaching it to the experiences of our lives.  Seldom do we examine the veracity of these meanings, and so we live as if they are

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The Meaning we Make Up (part one)

We humans are peculiar.  We want so badly to make sense of life that we do a very insensible thing.  We make it up! What I mean is this.  When an event occurs—particularly if it’s surprising, we’re not content simply being surprised. No. We have to figure out what it means. The stronger your “TJ”

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Playing to Win! (part two)

We’re examining leadership coaching distinctions that I employ when coaching pastors and Christian leaders.  Last time, I suggested that the client’s perspective determines what they see as possible and impossible as they search for solutions to pernicious problems. One common perspective is “playing to win” vs. “playing not to lose”. Pastors commonly cycle between “playing

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Stealing Second (part three)

This is the 19th entry in a series on Coaching Distinctions.  I’m inviting you into some of the strategies and perspectives I employ as I champion my clients to achieve extraordinary results—not just while we’re working together, but for the rest of their lives. As a coach, I’m not in the help-you-solve-your-problems business.  Nope. I’m

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Committed Action (part two)

Imagine the impact on the United States if Christians here were known – first of all — for being people of action.  When you read the New Testament, you see Jesus in action much of the time.  So much so that when he drew away for prayer, reflection, and rest—it was noteworthy.  But, most sermons

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