character development

The Formidable Four (part two)

It’s true. You never do anything for no reason. So, whether you’re coaching yourself or someone else, it’s helpful to dig to discover what actually motivated apparently incomprehensible behavior. Four basic motivations are often at the root of such actions. I call them the formidable four. Looking good. Feeling good. Being right. Being in control. […]

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The Formidable Four (part one)

Last time, I suggested that no matter how astonishing, everything you do, at some level, made sense, at the time you did it.  Almost always, in situations like this, you were motivated by one or more of the formidable four.  I once worked for a clinically-diagnosable narcissist.  This psychological malady renders a person unable to

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The seedbed of envy

I remember it well.  Helping with a character development workshop in Grand Rapids, my trainer, Lawrence Edwards, made this startling observation: Comparison is the seedbed of envy.  Huh? Envy – that ugly, distasteful character defect that fuels pettiness, judgments, isolation, and division – grows in the soil of comparison? I never thought about that before…

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Throwing my Body into the Middle of the Room (part two)

Last time, I introduced the phrase: Throw your body into the middle of the room and see what God does with it.  Let me clarify. When you’re surprised by life and find yourself frozen in uncertainty, the pervading impulse is to stop. Ponder. Evaluate. Assess. Trouble is, often life’s reality won’t give you the luxury

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Compendium (part ten)

Leadership Courage Series # 44 Go first! Leaders go. They take action. They leap. Managers, strategists, futurists, idea practitioners, educators, and visionaries can all get by without going—and particularly without going first.  Leaders, however cannot. Leaders lead.  It’s just what they do.  That what Jesus did.  The apostles, too. Somehow, as Christianity has passed from

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Compendium (part eight)

Leadership Courage Series # 42 The seventh of nine leadership characteristics needed in the Church today: Disengage from an unreasonable faith in reasonableness.  Let me ask you: How reasonable was Jesus when confronting opposition,  faithlessness, and cowardice?  Consider his arrest, in Gethsemane.  Jesus is betrayed with a kiss by one of his closest confidants, an

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Compendium (part seven)

Leadership Courage Series # 41 The sixth leadership characteristic needed in the Church today is: Undermine the 80/20 Rule. 80/20 is another evidence that cowardice is thriving in much of the American Church. A week ago, my pastor announced that last year’s tithes and offerings – totaling more than $5 million – came from 15%

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Compendium (part five)

Leadership Courage Series # 39 The fourth trait to lead effectively in a Church caught in a culture of cowardice: Stand, as an exemplar, in the sabotage and backlash that must come. A Christian leader is not simply someone who gets things done or who gets others to behave in desirable ways, in a religious

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