How many parents of adult children have lamented their 20-something’s dependence and irresponsibility—until the parents cut off the financial flow?

Faced with the very real possibility of starvation and homelessness, most of those chronically-immature sons and daughters find a way to get out of bed, land a job, and struggle their way into responsible adult lives.

But the over-responsible parents had to cut down the safety net first. And, to do so, they had to increase their capacity to tolerate the squawks and tantrums of their overly-dependent adult children.

In Matthew 23:37 Jesus mourns for the inhabitants of Jerusalem. When offered comfort, protection, and rescue by the Lord their answer was “no.” And, Jesus is clear: their choice didn’t diminish him or the value of the redemption he offered. And, he was also clear that they would get to live with the consequences of their decision.

So too, pastor, with you.

–Kirk Kirlin, from the book “Leadership Courage,” more at


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