As humans, we were made for love. Made to love. Built to access and share affection readily, easily, and generously. Like little kids do.

Living with and among imperfect human beings, I’ve been hurt and I’ve seen others hurt, over the years. In the movies we see characters that give the appearance of being deeply satisfied, fully alive, and relationally connected without the risk of hurt and heartache that actual love requires.

Smooth operators.

Cool customers.

Cold lovers?

I once taught myself to live that way. Denying what I was, and what I was made for until Christ captured my heart and taught me another way: a risky way, a vulnerable, dangerous way. Since then, there’s been an accordion-like opening and closing, expanding and compressing of the affections my heart was meant to exude.

–Kirk Kirlin, from the book “Leadership Courage,” more at

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