You are co-architect of all your relationships. Because you are, you 79 architectcan redesign every one. And, though you can’t choose what anyone else will do, you have 100% freedom to change the way you are in it.

Therein lies the rub. Most of us would agree to re-architect our role in the relationship as long as you’ll re-architect yours.  Oh, and by the way, you go first.

Unwilling to be duped yet again, I’ve decided it prudent to withhold my participation until you go first!  And, when you don’t, another offense is tossed onto the pile. And, I get to be right about you again.

I get to be “right” about how “wrong” you are.

And so the marriage dies. The staff dynamics die. Our small group dies. A once-happy home dies.

79 nailMaybe you remember the rhyme:

For want of a nail the shoe was lost;

For want of a shoe the horse was lost;

For want of a horse the battle was lost;

For the failure of battle the kingdom was lost.


Because of our unwillingness to redesign the way we are being, many, many relationships are lost.

79 broken heartHomes wrecked.

Churches split.

Moves of God undermined.

Kingdom advances stalled.


Must break God’s heart.


If you let it break yours … you’ll discover that you are a willing and capable architect in all the relationships that matter.




Coaching Distinctions #79.doc