Impact, not Intention (part five)
In football, when your opponent has the ball, you want to get the ball back so your team can score.
Get your defense off the field as fast as possible.
The same is true in a relational breakdown. Get your defense off fast!
Let me take you on a quick detour, before returning to this sports analogy.
Recently, I invited you to consider that you’re always causing an experience for those you’re with. I challenged you to decide in advance the experience you’re committed to cause: before you preach, facilitate a board meeting, vacation with your spouse, or take your staff on retreat.
What experience are you committed to cause?
As I type this, Annie and I are flying to our daughter’s commencement at Texas Tech. We’ll commemorate her monumental accomplishment—the result of many years of discipline and sacrifice: late night studying after working full time to support herself and her education. And, we’ll meet her boyfriend for the first time.
I am committed to cause them to experience love, gratitude, and acceptance.
As the weekend progresses, I’ll watch them to see if these experiences are occurring. I expect to continually adjust how I’m being to cause these experiences with them. It may take all weekend to have my commitment happen…I can’t know until we’re in it. But, my commitment is clear.
If I find myself embroiled in a relationship “breakdown”, my natural human
tendency will be to “put my defense on the field”.
To lock down on the ‘rightness’ of my position—to build a fortress around the virtue of my view, behavior, or stance—and defend it.
As I do, any hope of causing the experience to which I’m committed will go out the window.
To have my commitment happen, I have to get off defense and back on offense.
I described it last time… during my conversation with the sem
inar participant who worked in the MLM business. I pulled my defense off the field and began to cause the experience to which I was committed…in mid-sentence.
The more deeply entrenched you are in your own defense, the more diligent and intentional you’ll have to be on “offense”.
So, quick as you can, get your defense off the field and have the impact you’re committed to cause.
Coaching distinctions #63.doc
This entry was posted by Kirk Kirlin on August 11, 2013 at 4:49 pm, and is filed under Christian Maturity, Communication, Discipleship, Emotional Maturity, Leadership Skills, Relationships. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.